Thursday, November 27, 2014

Book Review for Food: A Love Story by Jim Gaffigan



Jim Gaffigan is a funny guy. Known for his standup routines, he often includes commentary on food. So what are his qualifications to write a book on the subject? Nothing, really, unless you count the admission that he’s a little fat.
 
Like a pound of crispy bacon the book is deliciously satisfying. Gaffigan explores why we love food, what we love, and how much more of it can we stuff into our pie holes without falling into a coma. He covers the whole gamut of eating from breakfast, lunch, and dinner, to regional cuisine, fast food, fine dining, the intricacies of airport cuisines and, oh, that hated kale.


The chapters are short and read more like an expanded collection of essays. If you have ever listened to his comedy routine, some will be familiar. I didn’t find the book less enjoyable for that as it contained plenty of new material and some more background added to the old. For those who are familiar with Gaffigan’s act, his standup includes a memorable bit on Hot Pockets that launched him to comedy circuit stardom. My favorite observation is that Hot Pockets always comes in a box of two; one to eat and regret and the other to leave in the freezer until you move. As Gaffigan says, “I’ve never eaten a Hot Pocket and then afterward thought, I’m glad I ate that. In the book he offers not just more funny riffs on Hot Pockets, but also explains how he developed the routine. He accepts its popularity as a blessing and a curse, admitting if he were to keel over today his obituary would, no doubt, describe him as the Hot Pockets’ comedian.

He expounds on our quirky eating habits around the country with the Jim Gaffigan Food Map. It’s not exactly Rand McNally, but it works. Regions are divided into areas such as Seabugland (pretty much all of the East Coast), Eating BBQland (Southeast/Parts of Midwest), Mexicanfoodland (Southwest to Texas), Coffeeland (Pacific Northwest) and others. My favorite is New Orleans as Food Anxietyland. Gaffigan admits to an angst that comes over him every time he steps into the city. Where should he eat? What should he eat? The decisions are endless. Should he go for French, Cajun, Creole, beignets? I feel your pain, bro. I, too, have agonized between a po’boy and muffaletta and ended up getting both. 

The book is great fun and loaded with pictures of his wife and family. Frankly any man with five kids deserves props for that alone. Despite his adventures in junkfoodland the Gaffigan’s sound like a very healthy, loving bunch. I’d share a meal with them anytime

*****

Excerpt from Food: A Love Story

People are nicer in the South. They are. Even when they are rude they are polite. Maybe it’s the singsong of the southern drawl, but even a “Y’all can go to hell” from a Southerner sounds friendly. “Well, thank you kindly. Y’all can go to hell, too. An’ y’all come back now, y’hear?” People in the South are nicer, but they are slower. I don’t mean they are slower intellectually, I mean they just move slower.

FIREMAN: You have to get out! Your house is on fire!

SOUTHERN GUY: All right. All right. I’ll leave. But first I have to drink me some sweet tea. Then I’ll deal with that pesky house fire.

 Biscuits and Gravy

I think I’ve identified why people in the South behave in such a nonchalant manner. It’s the biscuits and gravy. Everyone in the South seems to move like they’ve just had two helpings of biscuits and gravy. They are moving like you might after Thanksgiving dinner. You know when you are uncomfortably full but pleasantly satisfied as you drag yourself over to the couch for a nap. That is how everyone below the Mason-Dixon Line moves in everyday life. I really believe it’s the biscuits and gravy. The feeling you have after eating biscuits and gravy is identical to the feeling of chaining a bowling ball to your foot.
 
More amazingly, people in the South are eating biscuits and gravy for breakfast. Yes, breakfast. They aren’t coming home drunk late at night slurring, “I’ll eat anything.” They are waking up thinking, Time for cement!

*****

 I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.


 

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Author Hebby Roman: Writing Seat of the Pants Versus Obsessive Compulsive



Raul de Porcelos, a dedicated Knight Templar, is duty bound to bring orphaned Irish Princess Cahira O'Donnell to wed the Earl of Orkney, Raul's lord. But Cahira has a mind of her own and resists the handsome Templar, refusing to relinquish the castle and lands that her family died to protect.

Thrown together by fate, they come to know each other and a forbidden passion is kindled.  Who will be the first to surrender to desire, the warrior-princess or the warrior-monk?
Author Hebby Roman discusses seat of the pants verses the obsessive compulsive in writing.
Strange name for a blog, but what I'm asking is: which kind of writer are you, a seat of the pants type or an obsessive compulsive type? I personally know lots of authors who have brilliant story beginnings and then they go with it and let the story unravel organically. I envy those writers because for me, beginning a story is about as painful as giving birth.
I'm the second type, the obsessively organized, compulsive writer. When I started writing, I was totally freaked out about writing dialogue. I was the Czarina of telling, not showing. I avoided that scary stuff by writing a long outline of my story, detailing every twist and turn of the plot, along with the characters' reactions and feelings.

I wrote my first historical romances from long outlines, and I never had a saggy middle. Even better, my outlines helped me to know what journey the characters needed and how the book should end. Sounds pretty good but then my fellow writers convinced me that adhering to a strict outline stifled my creativity. I listened and realized my characters were feeling the "pinch." They wanted to be released from their strait-laced outline. I decided to change my approach, and I zeroed in on the characters' backstory and their life experiences. I put the h/h together and let the magic begin. I also did a high-level, general outline to direct the overall arc of the story.

For example, in THE BEST BET (my second contemporary romance), the heroine has been strongly influenced by her father to put her ambition above finding love. I leave it to my hero's unwavering patience, unconditional love, and story elements to change her mind, so she can take a chance on love.

THE BEST GAME is a story about two strong, beautiful, and charismatic individuals. The hero's a big frog in a small pond: a handsome ex-jock type and very successful salesman. The heroine is a glamorous New York model. So what's the problem? They're both so accomplished they don't trust the other person to love them for their real selves, warts and all. I had to thrust them into situations where trust could grow between them.

In my historical, featured here, THE PRINCESS AND THE TEMPLAR, I constructed it based on the concept of a medieval version of the Thornbirds, where a celibate warrior-monk, who's also bastard-born, falls in love with an Irish princess. The princess falls in love with the hero, despite his birth and vocation. But the hero feels he has to strive to win her regard and affection to overcome the difference in their ranks. Not to mention, he has to come to terms with what he will do about his vow of celibacy and his Templar Order. History intervenes in the form of the Templar purge, which helps to compel the story to its end. Again, though, you can see how the h/h's backstory propels the romance.

Backstory is key, along with a little bit of obsessiveness in the form of a general outline. When you put the two together and let your characters "talk" to you, they will lead you through the trials and tribulations they need to tackle and overcome in order to fall in love and find their happily-ever-after ending.

******

EXCERPT from The Princess and the Templar

The wind rose to a shriek, sounding like a woman in travail. The sea heaved and churned. The ship leaned sharply. Cahira felt her feet slipping. She grabbed for the rail, but her cold hands were too stiff. The rail slipped from her grasp, and she was falling.

Raul caught her in his strong arms. She placed one hand on his broad chest and felt his heart beating beneath his tunic. At the touch of her hand, his pulse leapt and raced. Realizing his response, heat suffused her. She licked her lips and removed her hand. She was steady now, but he didn’t release her. His unfathomable black gaze captured hers and they stood, clasped in each other’s arms.

He bent his head, and his lips were within inches of hers. Her heart leapt, too, plunging in a mad gallop. Was he going to kiss her again? Without thinking, she leaned closer, willing him to kiss her, craving the forbidden intimacy. But at the last moment, he drew back. Her breath stopped in her chest, and she remained perfectly still. Her shoulders sagged, but with her disappointment, came the sharp-edged stab of guilt. For surely, she was a wanton.

He possessed iron self-control. She knew because she’d felt his body’s response, sensed he wanted to kiss her as badly as she wanted him to.

She stepped back and grasped the ship’s rail. “Thank you for stopping me from going overboard.”

He reached out, and his strong fingers cupped her chin, his touch burning her chilled skin. “No need to thank me.” His ebony eyes gleamed, the darker pupils narrowing. His gaze moved over her like a caress. “Your face is as cold as fresh snow.” he murmured huskily.  Without warning, his iron control reasserted itself, and he suddenly released her, clearing his throat. “You should go to your cabin. We can talk about the journey later.” 

How dare he dismiss her? And his smooth words didn’t fool her, either. He hadn’t touched her again to learn if she was cold or not. Nay, the yearning she’d glimpsed in his eyes mirrored the throb in her own body. 


How much longer could they go on torturing each other?

*****

You can find Hebby at:
Website: http://www.hebbyroman.com
FaceBook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Hebby-Roman/582681221798972

You can find The Princess and the Templar at:
AMAZON
BARNES & NOBLE