Thursday, April 27, 2017

So Many, Many, Many, Ways to Die (during National Poetry Month)

April is National Poetry Month. In honor of the occasion is my contribution below. (Note this is National Poetry Month, not National Good Poetry Month.)

So Many, Many, Many Ways to Die
by L. A. Kelley

Will I drown you in the tub?
Beat your brains out with a club?
Swap your packs of Sweet’N Low for cyanide?
Once you’re sound asleep in bed
Voila! A bullet through the head.
So many, many, many ways to die.

If I laced your diet cola
With a tincture of ebola
You’d hardly have the time to wave goodbye.
A well-delivered slice
With a chain saw should suffice.
So many, many, many ways to die.

You wouldn't have a fun day
If you’re flattened by my Hyundai.
Crushed organs leave a person less than spry.
A Hefty bag’s facilitation
Simplifies asphyxiation.
So many, many, many ways to die.

C4’s pronounced kaboom
Would precipitate your doom.
You’d be teensy bits before I blink an eye.
One quick shove into the freezer?
A deveining with a tweezer?
So many, many, many ways to die

Since I caught you in the act
With your mistress in the sack
Your cheating heart I can no more deny.
For me, the best solution
Is a simple execution.
So many, many, many, ways to die.

I won’t ruin the surprise
With the date of your demise
Just know I have the perfect alibi.
So when next we meet, my dear,
You’ll be on the funeral bier
For I’ve decided on the way for you to die.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Easter Haiku to Honor Peeps

In honor of National Poetry Month, here's a Easter haiku. What is haiku? It's a three stanza poem of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and 5 syllables.

 Peeps Haiku

Jump in little Peep!
Hot tub fun waiting for you.

Sad eyes see the truth.

Monday, April 3, 2017

Book Review: The Moth Presents All These Wonders: True Stories About Facing the Unknown

There’s something so down-to-earth entertaining about shared stories. Back in the 1990s a man named George Dawes Green and his friends sponsored storytelling events, sharing life experience on stage throughout the New York area. The group had no set venue and fluttered from place to place, so the event was referred to as The Moth. It since evolved into a radio/blog show. Performances of the storytellers along with tips for your own storytelling are now available on The Moth website

The logo of The Moth is True stories told live. The mission is to promote the art and craft of storytelling and to honor and celebrate the diversity and commonality of human experience. We’re not all that different and the founders of the The Moth believe the best connections are forged when people tell true stories about what transpired in a person’s life to define an individual, shake up a life, or change a view.

All These Wonders is a compilation of these stories. They are short and easy to read, with nearly fifty in the book. A life changing experience doesn’t take a lot of time to explain in the hands of a good storyteller. The authors range in age from teenagers to senior citizen. A lot of the stories have a bit of wistfulness, even when the people become better for their experiences in the end. After all, life is hard and full of bumps in the road, and many of the stories reflect that. The topics are eclectic; from David Bowie’s hairdresser to a Jewish Orthodox boy’s illicit taste of nonkosher pizza. Some stories are better than others and a few are downright whiny in the oh-poor-me category. My favorite is from Cathy Olkin, a planetary scientist, about a mission to Pluto. Although, I didn’t find all the stories inspiring, they were at least interesting.

If you rather hear instead of read stories, check out The Moth website at

I received this book from Blogging for Book in exchange for a review.